Loneliness

 I remember.

Infact I remember quite clearly. It was back in 2005. I was 6 years old, graduating from Nursery School. Quite a small but significant moment for majority of us wouldn't you say? Lol, graduating for coloring in books and having a nap time at noon... Amazing. I was a skinny, shy, extremely quiet, but intelligent kid. I was never the expressive playful kid so it was difficult to make a friend. 

The graduation ceremony took place in the evening, it was a well organized ceremony. It wasn't taken too serious as we were 6 year olds after all, but there was a sense of pride and excitement in the air. Parents filling out the auditorium, while we were being met with the most beautiful sunset. I looked around, and for the most part I was happy. Being a quiet kid without friends is usually an access code that unlocks a wild imagination. You can imagine how much I lived in my head. 

Euphoria. Utopia.

Elie, my older brother, was sitting next to me as my only representative. My mom owed the school money in school fees, so she couldn't show her face. Regardless... she was working a night shift at Checkers. I hadn't seen my dad in two years at that point in time. 

After my name being called out, while taking my seat I looked around, it was the first time my wild imagination came face to face with reality. As a 6 year old, I just wanted to be celebrated too, I just wanted my people to be proud.

Shit. That was the first time I felt alone.