I Didn't Want to Write This...

-
Forgive me for my selfishness.

One full month later and here we are, here we are. It hasn't been an immediate adjustment, I still find myself habitually involving your name in matters that would've normally included you. My brain tells me that you cannot undo a habit that was second nature for 5 years, in a single month. My habits are simply met with a sigh as my lack of belief slowly starts to fill. I try my best not to think about it, to think about you. I avoid looking at photos while consoling my daily routines with the idea of better being the day after tomorrow. When it kicks in? 

Ah man.. what is this life really about. 

I pray that God opens his arms to you with a warm embrace. You will forever be in my heart and my memory. I love you forever. 

Rest in Peace Mita Shawa



I genuinely cannot believe I'm writing this...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

?

-
"- Even though you share the same blood is it worth the time? Like who got your best interest? Like how much are you dependent? How clutch are the people that say they love you? And who pretending? How tough is your skin when they turn you in? Do you show forgiveness? What brush do you bend when dusting your shoulders from being offended? What kind of den did they put you in when the lions start hissing? What kind of bridge did they burn? Revenge or your mind when it's mentioned?" Yes (No) No (Yes) N/A
Read more

Fear.

-
So, how are you feeling today, are you good? Good? What does being good mean to you? Well, I'd say to be in a state that is not consumed by the desire of acquiring immediate needs. Well in that case, then I'm good, thanks for asking. What would being good mean to you? If sunsets and pianos did not exist, I'd answer you by saying I don't know. In this case, goodness seems to favor me on most days. What is the point of all this anyway? Well, it is healthy to unpack, have someone to talk to, let loose on most stresses that consume our minds.  I hate losing. Loss is devastating. It spews the expression of deep rage, straight out the core of heart. I can't take it. This hatred bullies my soul, sparking the feeling of everlasting resentment. This hatred overcame my spirit, forcing me into a dark room without a point of entry and exit. It left me hungry, eating whatever my eyes could find, I took bites only to realize that it was pieces of me being detached. This hatred le...
Read more

Unkwuhuig

-
Section 18 Sunset Avenue TMOV 10 May 2024 Dear Unkwuhuig, I hold hope that this letter finds you well. It's been a while since we spoke and I thought since that's the case, it would be necessary to reach out to you in this fashion. We didn't leave on the greatest terms the last time we spoke, I just hope that you understood the angle that I was taking. Nevertheless, how are things with you? I hope everything has been fair to you, as they say, you reap what you sow, only you will be able to judge what is fair for you.  But the purpose of this letter is to remind you of how unfair you've been to me. I don't want us to be on bad terms again, but I have to express my honesty. You have been the birth giver of fear in my life, you have spoken confusion onto me, making me doubt every choice I make. Everything I leave behind is questioned by you with the undertone of loss. I know you meant no harm, I know you mean no harm, but I have to express my honesty. I have encountere...
Read more